


Not Negative

by BWolf_20



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Attempted Abortion, F/M, Forced Marriage, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2018-12-15 04:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 11,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11798259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BWolf_20/pseuds/BWolf_20
Summary: What if Sherry discovered she was pregnant with Negan's child? Would she keep? Try to get rid of it? It wasn't something she wanted while married to Negan as it would only make things more difficult and complicated, especially if Dwight ever found out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The idea has been bugging me lately when I thought back to the episode "The Cell". I wondered what would happen if the test wasn't negative. What would she do? I don't know much about Sherry, so I'm kinda playing her character by ear as best I can in concerns to the show.

Sherry stared in disbelief at the positive sign on the stick. There was a slight tremble to her fingers as she held it. She didn’t want to hold it, she didn’t want to even look at it, but she just couldn’t turn away from the dreaded thing.

When she was able to tear her eyes away, a tear gently rolled down her cheek. Her mind was frozen yet she was able to think back to her appointment months ago with Dr. Carson, when Dwight had walked in with Daryl. She had been negative then, but apparently not now. To anyone else it wouldn’t be surprising considering she was Negan's favorite wife, always getting used. The things was, she had never expected for such a thing to happen. Sure she had always checked, but she had also put trust in the idea that Negan was just incapable of giving life. None of the other wives had been so unfortunate so why did it fall upon her? She’d lost Dwight, she’d lost her freedom and now this. It wasn’t something to be proud of.

She wiped the tear away expecting to go numb, but she choked and had to cover her mouth as the flood came. She tried hard not to think of Dwight and what it would mean should he find out. She tried not to imagine the shit-eating grin that was likely to form on Negan’s face upon hearing the news. It didn’t matter if he thought they were married. It wasn’t real. They weren’t supposed to be some happy little family. It was all just pure hell, and now the hell had gotten a lot hotter.

She eventually regained control of herself and pocketed the test until she could find the best means to destroy and hide it. She stood and straightened her dress as best she could before exiting the bathroom. Crying wouldn’t help anything now. The seed was sown and in nine months Negan would have an heir to his empire, unless she was lucky.

They had a doctor, and doctors had means to make such a thing go away. Sherry had never thought about becoming a mother when she’d gotten together with Dwight. They had talked about it briefly, more like joked about it. Dwight had always chuckled and claimed he’d make a lousy dad and she had joked that maybe they should experiment and find out. In truth she couldn’t imagine herself with a kid, not really anyways. Every now and then she had imagined what they’re kid would look like, but she hadn’t been sure she wanted that. Now it had happened.

Sherry rejoined the other women, doing her best not to tear up and instead remained hopeful that the doctor would have what she needed to end the spawn of that devil.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherry attempts to do something about this pregnancy

Dr. Carson exhibited the same expression she had when she learned the horrible truth. The silence seemed to go on for a while before he was stumbling with what he thought she wanted to hear.

“Uh…congratulations.”

She simply stared back at him, feeling offended.

“You think I want this?”

He shut his eyes and sighed as if he suddenly realized who he was talking to.

“I’m sorry, I just…I didn’t know if you told Negan.”

“I won’t have to tell anyone, as long as you give me what I need.”

She hated the look of pity he gave her then and without thinking she wrapped an arm over her stomach. 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have what you need to…terminate the pregnancy.”

“Bullshit. I know you can give me something, or do something.”

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m not touching you. I can’t, not with Negan…if he finds out-”

“He won’t,” she said firmly. She wouldn’t be so stupid as to tell the bastard something as important as this. 

“I can’t take the chance, and it wouldn’t matter even if I was willing to. I don’t have anything for you. I’m so sorry.”

She turned away from him then, feeling numb horror. It was like there wasn’t enough air.

Dr. Carson leaned in close to her ear. She was barely aware of him doing so.

“If I can find a way, to get what you need, I’ll let you know.”

Sherry was barely able to say “thank you” as she jumped down from the examination table. She walked out the door like a woman condemned to death.

 

Whenever she looked at Negan now, it was different. If he was giving a speech to the crowd a look of disgust was quick to surface as she watched him. The bat wielding psychopath with his sickening grin had her stomach turning more than ever. She did not like to think that his seed was implanted within her, growing into a future version of him. It felt wrong and gross, more so than all the sex they’d had together.

Sometimes she just had to go somewhere and grab her hair to keep from ripping at her stomach. Usually when she found herself in such moments, she cried. Sometimes she cried too loudly and would cause the other wives to encircle her, asking what was wrong. Her lips remained buttoned on the matter. How would they react if they learned the truth? Would they hate her? View her as a traitor? Would she become an outcast or would they stay by her side, eager to see a baby?

She couldn’t remember the last time she saw a baby. It seemed ages ago. But if she didn’t rid herself of the seed, she would be able to see the innocent wide-eyed face of a baby. Still it made her wonder about the point of it. She was in hell surrounded by hell. There was no real life in the Sanctuary just as there was no real life outside of it. A baby wouldn’t last long anyways. Upon the first cry the dead would come and eat the child alive. 

It almost didn’t matter that it was Negan’s. It was dangerous to have children now. The only kind of woman who could pull it off, was the kind who was held in some stronghold with plenty of food and help.  
She blinked thoughtfully when she realized she sort of had that here, but only if Negan never found out.

Sherry curled herself on the bed and unconsciously wrapped an arm over her stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're enjoying. I figured Sherry could use a little attention in fics because I've never seen her in any.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherry worries what will happen if she chances upon Dwight.

For the most part, she did her best to avoid Dwight at all cost. If she saw him on one side of a hallway, she’d quickly turn a corner. When it was clear he was doing his best to seek her out without alerting Negan, she spent a good amount of time in the lounge with the other wives hiding away. She couldn’t imagine facing him now, though she knew it would happen sooner or later. By now she knew he would ask why she was avoiding him because it had to be obvious to him.

He wouldn’t know. She was firm on keeping her mouth shut. But then she thought of the doctor and what would happen if he wasn’t about to help her. Then she’d have little choice but to tell him. Dwight still cared for her. If she decided she needed to tell one other person Dwight was the one.

Of course, the reaction he’d give would break her heart. Imagining his fallen expression made her feel disgusted with herself.

 

Sherry walked to her usual spot in the stairway, arms wrapped around her stomach almost protectively. Once she leaned against the wall she naturally fished for one of her cigarettes, but found herself stopping. Now that she was pregnant, she couldn’t smoke right?

Then she blinked and cursed herself for thinking that she actually cared. What did it matter if she was going to get rid of the baby anyways? 

She plucked out a cigarette and lit it, hoping it would help in knocking away the worst stress of her life.

For a while, she just leaned against the wall staring off into nothing and drowning out her surroundings. She had a need to cry, but she really didn’t believe she had any more tears left.

“Hey.”

She turned quickly, startled at Dwight’s sudden arrival below her. Her eyes dropped and she shifted uncomfortably as he made his way towards her. 

“Hey.” Keeping an eye on her feet seemed more interesting than looking at her ex. 

Dwight leaned on the opposite wall and simply waited, but she still couldn’t meet his eyes.

“Something you wanna tell me?”

There was a sudden shock and her body tensed. At last she looked at him. He still carried the same barely hidden expression of misery whenever they spoke, so it was difficult to tell whether or not he knew. If Dr. Carson broke the truth, she swore she would see to it that Negan did something to him. Such a vicious thought legitimately scared her. 

“Like what?” she asked slowly.

“Why you been avoiding me.”

“I haven’t,” she lied. She took a drag off her cigarette and tried to look indifferent.

“Don’t take me for an idiot. I can tell. I know you too well.”

She exhaled but stayed steady.

“Just because we haven’t ran into each other lately doesn’t mean I’m avoiding you.” She paused and willed herself to stay strong. “One of the girls has been upset lately so I’ve been tending to her.”

She didn’t think of it as a full blown lie if it was in regards to herself.

“Oh.”

Sherry could tell he didn’t fully buy it. He pulled a cigarette of his own and lit it.

“I was starting to think…” he drifted off as he stared at her. Sherry stared back into a man she barely recognized and wondered how much more he’d change if he knew.

“Starting to think…what?”

He shook he head and looked away.

“No,” she insisted. “Tell me.”

He didn’t look at her when he answered.

“I lost you to Negan.”

“I did that to save you.”

“Yeah,” he said sounding quite exhausted as he turned to her. “I didn’t know if…I was worried you might…”

He didn’t need to finish for her to understand. Just as he knew her, she knew him. Her face fell, appalled. 

“Dwight, are you shitting me? I could never actually love Negan.” 

She certainly couldn’t love him after what he’d done to her. Dwight nodded, believing her words, then he leaned in close to her. A tremor went through her body as she anticipated something she missed.

“You know you can tell me anything right?”

For a minute she felt a strong inclination to blurt it out. Her hand unconsciously went to her stomach but at the last second she moved it away. She just couldn’t risk it. Who was to say he wouldn’t go charging up to Negan and attempt something that would get him killed. Who was to say he wouldn’t turn his back on her completely, deciding she belonged with that bastard.

She looked into his eyes for a long time, heart heavy with so much pain.

“I know,” she whispered.

He gave a nod and walked past her. She dropped her eyes as the need to cry stirred within her yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the interest continues, I'll definitely keep this fic going.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherry finds she can't avoid Negan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I'm able to capture Sherry well enough, especially when it comes to her and Negan.

Dodging Negan was the hardest task. Of course she had expected him to corner her sooner or later for a night in bed or a quickie. There was only so many times she could say no. Had he not become accustomed to her fierce willingness to mouth off and deny him on occasion, it never would have worked.

She sat nervously in the lounge looking at an old dirty magazine when he strode in. The change in the air was always noticeable. It was like static and all the women were on high alert, sitting up straighter and wiping any tears that might have shed.

Sherry always felt she had long passed that stage. There were days however when her body did tense when he entered, but for the most part she ignored him as best she could.

Now it was different. Now her stomach twisted unpleasantly. When he greeted the women, she felt the strong urge to vomit. Every hair stood on end as she sat there, waiting for him to approach her. As his shadow loomed over her, she swallowed hard.

“Not gonna say hello to your husband?”

She shut her eyes momentarily before turning to him. The bastard was giving her his usual grin as his dark eyes bore into her. It made her feel as though she was made of glass and that he could see the secret she was keeping.

“I wasn’t thinking about it,” she said smartly which caused him to smirk. 

“That shit never gets old. That damn mouth of yours. Why don’t you put it to better use?”

He leaned down to press his lips against her, and the twisted, sickly feeling only intensified. Despite that, she returned the kiss while mentally instructing herself not to throw up.

She had never been able to really sort out the conflicted feelings she’d had whenever he kissed her or made love to her. It always sickened her whenever he teased that she liked it regardless of the situation, and it always scared her that he was right. On some level she knew it might be true, but she never forgot that he wasn’t Dwight.

“How bout we take this further.” His arms began to wrap around her form, lifting her out of her seated position. 

It was hard to maintain eye contact. Right now she just wanted to run, but at the same time she also wanted to stay and scream at him, curse his existence, curse him for getting her pregnant. 

She knew her anger had to be showing in her face as the man reached up and ran a finger across her brow.

“What the hell’s your problem? Giving me that goddamn stare?”

Sherry couldn’t answer right away. Her body was starting to tremble.

“Not now.” She was aware of how icy her tone had become, especially when Negan took a step back.

“What, is it that time of the month? God damnit, all I asked for was a little private time. You don’t want it, all you gotta do is say no. No need to get so worked up.”

She just kept glaring back at him. Anger was her prominent emotion. She could punch him, but she’d have no excuse for why unless she revealed what he’d done to her. This man, not Dwight, had given her something she wasn’t sure she ever wanted. Ever since finding out, she wanted it dead before it could begin. It hadn’t changed. But something seemed to have altered now that she was face to face with the father of her child.

She didn’t understand what her heart was doing. It was fluttering with anticipation, yet she was also highly disgusted by the sight of him much more now than ever before. She knew she could just say no and walk away, but for how long? Suspicion would rise and the truth would be forced out of her one way or another.

That was how she rationalized it anyway as she moved forward and kissed him on the lips. She didn’t think about the baby or Dwight or anything of that matter. There was a need for release of some kind, and her body seemed to act of its own accord to give it to her in the most fucked up way possible.

She wrapped her arms around him and he grabbed her waist. The confusion he had for her behavior was gone. 

From that point, she allowed him to do whatever he wanted to her.

 

 

Much later she found herself lying awake in bed, listening to the soft breathing of the bastard next to her. Negan had done his part in getting her exhausted. She had become too tired to leave the bed and retrieve her clothes, so she would be passing the night in the nude under the covers they shared. 

She laid on her side, wide-eyed, wondering how she became so pathetic. Tears welled up in her eyes as she briefly thought of Dwight, but she did not cry. She wouldn’t wake Negan so he could ask her what was wrong. If that happened, she believed she wouldn’t be able to hold onto the truth any longer. 

If he ever knew, how would it change their relationship? 

She would become his number one wife for certain. She would have to fully depart from Dwight as she devoted more of herself to her husband. But, she would never love him. Or would she?   
She bit her lip certain she wouldn’t. 

She didn’t know what she would feel for him afterwards. She couldn’t comprehend what she felt for him now. It wasn’t love, not by a long-shot. It was just something sickening and frightening. 

She curled into herself and tried not to think about any of it. Now wasn’t the time to think about her feelings for the men in her life. 

Now was the time to think about what she needed to do about the baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave reviews.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherry ponders her pregnancy a little more

Whenever she found a moment, Sherry would sneak off to see Dr. Carson with one question; and so far the answer had always been the same.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have anything for you yet.”

After hearing it so often, it made her wonder if he was against abortions. With the way things were now, she expected the matter would be more acceptable for those who might have denounced it before. It was just too risky to deal with. Maybe the world was in need of new life now that the dead were roaming around, but she saw no reason why she had to do her part in repopulating. It made her wonder afterwards if Dr. Carson felt this way. Maybe it wasn’t so much that he felt wrong about killing her child. Maybe he believed it was more important to keep humanity going. But every time she looked around, she saw little reason to pull for humankind especially since the majority of the people here were the worst of humankind. And with Negan at the head she could see the baby turning out just like him.

She would rub her stomach gently as she thought about such things. It felt odd to think about such things when before she’d simply gone through the motions almost like a dead one herself. 

With Dwight feeling suspicious from their previous chat, she did her best not to avoid him as much. She tried not to let her feelings show through her expression when she talked to him and was surprised how easy it was to smile. She never smiled when she was around Negan.

When she was alone, she cursed her situation, usually once or twice a day, then she would try to forget about it. She considered slacking off on keeping up her health. If she wasn’t in good condition then it would affect the baby. Then she thought about how easy it was to die nowadays, and if poor health lead to an early death, there would be no one here to protect Dwight. So she dropped the idea quickly enough. 

Sometimes when it got too quiet, she would look down at her belly. No thoughts wandered through her mind and between the fear and disgust, there was a feeling of wonder. It never lasted.

A day came some time later, when the sore subject was brought up by one of the wives. Nothing else had been going on then, so the mild chatter was random. Sherry sat occupying herself with a magazine while pretending to take sips of wine. She hadn’t bothered to pay attention to them until one of the girls said the word “baby”. 

She looked up, startled that she’d been found out, but no one was looking at her. A woman named Jessica was bringing it up before two of the women surrounding her. 

“I really wanted to have children,” she was saying to them. “I remember, before all the shit started, I read up on it, trying to learn everything about being a parent. I had it all planned. I found a guy I thought wanted that too…” She paused and her expression became surly. “Well, let’s just say I’m not too sorry he was bit.”

Sherry felt her heart twist a little as she watched her.

“It wasn’t just that,” she continued. “The way he’d treat a girl sometimes…what does it say that Negan almost makes a better husband.” She stopped and took a long drink from her bottle. “I really wanted kids.”

The other two women traded concerned looks.

“Well, there’s only one way you can,” one of them told her. She didn’t have to explain her meaning. The other woman looked horrified, but Jessica just giggled drunkenly.

“As if. That bastard couldn’t get a blow-up doll pregnant.” 

Sherry bowed her head as her cheeks became hot. Jessica stood on shaky legs and turned away from them.

“Who’d want his damn kid anyways?”

Sherry buried her nose further in her magazine while unconsciously rubbing her hand across her belly, feeling quite embarrassed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherry gets further along and starts catching attention

Enough time passed to where she was beginning to see the bump. It was enough to catch the attention of those who had nothing better to do, but considering the wit of most, she found little reason to be concerned. No one spared her a second glance and she was sure they believed she was getting fat, a reward from being spoiled as Negan’s wife. The only person she feared might have suspected otherwise was Arat.

Normally she paid no attention to any of the saviors she’d pass on a day to day basis. But while walking past a couple of tables in the Sanctuary’s version of a cafeteria, she felt curious eyes following her. Sherry dared look around and caught Arat just calmly watching her from one of the tables. She couldn’t read her expression. It seemed serious yet uncertain.

Sherry truly considered walking over and asking what her problem was, but naturally that would increase suspicion upon herself. Arat would have definitely gone to Negan if she started something. So Sherry looked away and fought the urge to rub her belly.

She had no choice but to accept her circumstances now. Dr. Carson had failed her, just as she’d failed herself. She hadn’t pushed the doctor enough. She hadn’t done enough to hurt herself, to force a miscarriage. When she thought about why, she felt frightened of the idea that she might have actually wanted to have the baby. 

Jessica’s words came to her every now and then. No woman in their right mind would want to have Negan’s damn child. Negan never expressed the desire to have kids, though considering the number of turns he took with his wives one could speculate he was trying to get an heir out of one of them. If so, she and the wives had been wining in keeping him from this goal. 

Not any longer though. 

Negan would notice soon enough that she was putting on weight and the only way to keep the secret, was to rely on his oblivious nature; to hope that he would be too dim to know a pregnant woman when he saw one.

A week passed and Negan never made a comment about it when he saw her. He’d been too busy lately with Savior duties. However, the suspicious looks were thrown her way by some of the wives, particularly Jessica whose expression shifted from curiosity and disgust. All Jessica had to do was ask. Sherry would deny it, and Jessica would laugh and know the truth. 

Whispers started to travel and whenever Sherry got within earshot, there was silence. 

More curious eyes turned her way. Some looks expressed pity while only one or two expressed something akin to joy.

The women attempted various ways to ask without asking. They’d insist she play a card game with them, or go somewhere private to chat, or help them with a task they clearly didn’t need help with.   
Sherry did her best to play dumb, and to throw them off she’d fill her plate to create the illusion it was simply weight gain and nothing more.

Still, she knew she was cornered. Being within a group that clearly understood something was going on with her was dangerous. If they knew something before Negan did, it spelled a whole lot of trouble for her, especially if one of them decided to turn it into blackmail. 

She had no choice.

She would have to reveal the truth, and soon, before it became quite obvious.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherry seriously considers confessing her pregnancy to the father

So far, she hadn't raised any flags for the bastard and hoped it could continue that way, but she promised herself she would finally confess the truth. 

She had never been more scared in her life.

They’d all been gathered in the main hall to hear one of his speeches, or rather hear him boast about how he’d forced another community under his belt. As he went into detail about smashing some poor woman’s husband, Sherry turned a deaf ear. Negan was in such a delightful mood she couldn’t tell if it was right to confess or not. Though she tuned out his voice, she observed him carefully, trying to predict what reaction he’d give if she said something now. If he adored the idea of becoming a father, that delightful mood would only increase, and there was no telling how destructive it would make him. She could see him viewing this as an incredible addition to his power. Already he had the mindset that screwing a lot of women made him the type of man to envy and respect. Being able to impregnate a woman would only add to his ego. She could picture him strutting around and commanding praise without having to say a word. The image disgusted her. 

On the other hand, if he didn’t like the idea she’d get her wish in getting rid of the baby. She shut her eyes and swallowed when she thought of his treasured weapon. No. He’d never get rid of the baby in such a way. Maybe he’d make her hand it over to one of his enslaved communities. Then again she imagined it would put too much of a strain on their ability to provide if they had to care for a kid. 

As she watched him flash a smile at the crowd she found it hard to believe he wouldn’t want to keep the baby even though he wouldn’t be the one caring for it. Had the baby belonged to another man, like Dwight, there was no question that he’d kill the kid, and the man who created it.

Negan caught her eye and she couldn’t look away. She was suddenly imagining how much the baby would look like him. She turned away and glanced over at Dwight who looked away quickly. It made her wonder how long he’d had his eyes on her. Had he noticed the obvious bump? She’d been deliberate in avoiding him ever since it showed.

 

For the rest of the day, she was a bundle of nerves on top of nerves on top of more nerves, flittering around like an anxious moth. She told herself firmly that she was going to do it. She was going to tell Negan and get it off her chest. It was good to tell Negan, because it relieved her of the stress of hiding the news; or rather, it was the lie she told herself. Everyone would know and her role in the Sanctuary would forever be changed. But it wasn’t so much about how it would affect her that had her worrying. There was Dwight.

The look of betrayal and sorrow would be etched on his face whenever, if ever, he looked at her. She could see him fleeing the Sanctuary once and for all in a desperate attempt to get away from her, because she would permanently be Negan’s woman.

She paced in the bedroom wringing her hands as she waited for him. She’d put in a request to be his for the night as a way to celebrate his victory over a new community, and naturally he was ready for it.

“Damn it, damn it.”

She couldn’t do it. Her body was trembling and she could practically hear her rapid heartbeats. She kept going over how she should do it. Blurt it out? Interrupt him in bed? Wait until morning?

“I hope you’re ready to put on a hell of a show.”

She spun around to see the grinning bastard in only boxers. At least he hadn’t approached her without them for once. She resisted the urge to back away. Then his eyes dropped downward and her fear only increased.

“Looks like someone’s losing touch with their figure.” He reached and started to squeeze, causing her to pull back. “You’re lucky you’re my favorite, but as a rule of thumb you gotta work on keeping your hotness level up.”

He moved his arms around her waist, going in for the kiss. She held up a hand and broke from his embrace.

“Don’t.”

Naturally he looked confused.

“What the hell Sher? You asked for this, practically begged my ass to get into yours, and you’re blowing me off?”

Sherry stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights. Then she slumped onto the bed, feeling like a coward. Feeling at a loss for words, she dropped her gaze.

“Don’t tell me you’re offended about the whole losing your figure comment. I thought you had a sense of humor.” 

She remained silent. Negan gave a frustrated sigh.

“Look, if you’re bothered that much, I won’t mention it. Hey, a fat chick can be a hell of a hot woman. Hell, I don’t even know how you managed to put on the pounds when the others haven’t.”

Sherry shut her eyes and held back the desire to cry and vomit.

“If it bothers you that much, we’ll start you on a diet. Get one of the wives to help you, and we’ll have you back to your hot little ass-”

“I’m pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope those that are reading are still enjoying.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Negan react to the news

Sherry had never heard such loud silence. She didn't want to open her eyes and look at Negan, especially since she was regretting saying the words. How she wished she could take them back.

"What do you mean you're pregnant?"

The question came out harsh as if he was angered about catching her in a lie. She sighed and faced him. The man looked more confused than angry at the moment.

"You're not that dumb Negan," she hissed, feeling quite drained. "Pregnant! I'm having a baby."

Now his expression resembled that of a man betrayed. He took a step forward, fists balled.

"Who the hell is its'?"

"Who do you think," she spat.

He stared at her a second longer before turning for the door. Her heart thumped with sudden fear.

"It's yours Negan." He froze with his hand on the doorknob. There seemed to be very little air in the room. "I haven't been with anyone else, so how could you think…it's yours."

She looked at him closely as tears started to well-up. She imagined such a feeling would be reserved for Dwight and Dwight alone, but now her heart was doing nervous summersaults as she awaited a response from a man she didn't know how to feel about at the moment. So far the most he'd done was let his hand drop. Her fingers gripped the edge of the bed. She wasn't sure what she wanted him to feel; sad and ashamed that he'd done this to her, or happy at the idea of being a father.

Finally she just couldn't take the silence nor her racing heart anymore.

"Well say something damn it!"

He pulled away from the door slowly, then turned to her with a big grin and started to laugh.

"Goddamn..Goddamn! If that ain't a hell of a treat."

Then without warning he grabbed her and swung her around. For a split second, she almost smiled but caught herself in time.

"So, you're not mad?"

"Mad? Are you shitting me? Goddamn. Why the hell would I be mad? My best wife is giving me something the others failed to do, so it's the best damn news a man can hear and you think I'd be mad. Oh no sweetheart. I couldn't be more thrilled unless my dick grew five feet long. This is the best damn thing you could've done."

Sherry gasped as she was pulled into his embrace, and with it came a feeling of relief, but also mounting terror.

Sherry didn't sleep that night with Negan celebrating loudly and boasting. At one point he left and returned with a few bottles to drink the night away. She was tense the entire time, fearing that someone would hear and stop by for answers. Of course the man would let the whole world know, and it had her stomach in painful knots. Negan couldn't see her fright. Thankfully he chucked it off as early pregnancy pains. Not once could he see that she didn't want this. It wasn't surprising; the man fooled himself into thinking that deep down she loved him.

All in all, it had been the best night of his life, and the worst of hers'.

She did her best to remain in bed for as long as possible. Luckily Negan managed his patience as she took up an hour freshening up and getting dressed. Once she exited the bathroom, he immediately swung her up into his arms. No amount of reminding him that she could walk did any good.

"Be happy I can carry your ass while I still can," he said with a laugh.

To her relief, he didn't carry her the whole way to the railway. Below, the crowd had already gathered. She assumed, with little interest, that Negan had called Simon to set it up while she was in the bathroom, taking some time to cry instead of showering.

He stood beside her appearing more alive than ever, while she considered herself as one of the walking dead. The world below faded away as he held her close and broke the news. All that registered in her ears was a horrible ringing sound.

She saw the stunned crowd without really seeing them. For the most part she saw her fear reflected upon most of the workers faces. Naturally those most loyal smiled and immediately cheered. Their reaction prompted the workers to follow suit, least they get punished severely.

She ignored Negan who turned to Simon and a few of his men to shake hands and accept pats on the back and instead looked at the other wives. They were shocked of course. Jessica, however, was giving her quite the icy stare. But once the shock passed, none of the women smiled at her. Instead, they seemed to pity her, which made her heart sink.

Then with as much courage as she could muster, she looked to where Dwight was standing.

There was no expression on his face. He wasn't even looking at her to begin with as his attention was on Negan. Sherry waited until Dwight rolled his eyes toward her and once he did it was very brief.

He immediately turned his back and walked away.

Sherry didn't make a sound as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're still enjoying ???


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Sherry handles pregnancy

It was hard not to stare in the mirror, now that she had a beach ball sized belly. Every time she looked, she was amazed. Every time she felt the baby kick, she was even more amazed. The same could be said for her fellow Saviors. Eyes followed her everywhere she went, and she could never meet their gaze properly. Sherry was compelled to drop her eyes like an ashamed child.

There was shame, even though Negan was still joyous about the situation. In her opinion, he was the only soul excited about ‘little Negan’ as he so often liked to call it, much to her disgust. If there was any other person just as happy, it was Simon.

For the most part people had congratulated her and smiled. They asked the questions one was supposed to ask of an expected mother and carried on. But with most of them, she couldn’t help feeling a small aura of dread from them. In a way it pissed her off. They had no reason to feel dread. That feeling was for her and her alone. Not only was she carrying the seed of a vile being within her, she was now terribly smothered by said being and practically excluded from the wives’ club. Dwight was gone and it would be up to her to raise a baby meant to be loyal to the Saviors and its father; her job to officially turn it, into Negan.

As much as that sickened her, there were moments where she allowed herself to feel some semblance of interest in the baby. Enough to wonder if it would be a boy or a girl; enough to imagine names she liked, like Benjamin or Charlotte.

She knew it didn’t really matter because Negan was coming up with his own list of names. Still there was a chance he might allow her to choose the name, a slim chance however.

“He’s gonna call it Negan, watch,” Jessica spat bitterly.

Sherry didn’t bother trading words with her. Instead she pretended to take comfort in the women surrounding her on multiple occasions. It was different with them now. She felt it easily even though they offered looks of condolences and hesitated on congratulating her. It was an uncertain event that they weren’t sure how to respond to. Sherry wasn’t sure how she wanted them to respond. For the most part the pitying looks they gave her was something she tended to welcome, even if it did cause her to burst into tears. On such moments they smothered her with hugs and told her it would all be alright.

But mixed with that sorrow, she sensed their curiosity. She knew it wasn’t just curiosity about seeing a baby again, but curiosity of what a child of Negan's would look like. 

It was the sort of thing that kept her up at night.

“What do you want to name it?” Amber asked.

“I don’t know,” Sherry admitted. “I…I don’t care.”

When it came down to it, she didn’t care. It wasn’t supposed to get this far in the first place.

“You have to name it something,” said a wife named Anna.

“Didn’t you bitches hear me,” Jessica spat again. “It’s gonna be Negan. Or maybe Megan if it’s a girl. Just what we need, another asshole around here.”

Her glare had the strength to freeze her blood and ignite the shame. Jessica kicked back and began to light a cigarette.

“Jessica, you can’t,” said Amber.

Said woman took a long drag before speaking.

“Why?”

“Well, the baby. You can’t smoke around Sherry.”

“You’re kidding me right?”

“Honestly I don’t care,” Sherry informed them without looking up. Her thoughts were suddenly on Dwight and whenever her mind settled on her love, she went hollow.

“But, the baby,” Amber tried.

Sherry said nothing. She was suddenly thinking a fall down a set of stairs might not be a bad thing. Amber watched her worriedly, but Sherry didn’t notice.

“Can I feel?” 

There was no reply.

Amber laid her hand against Sherry’s belly and felt the small kick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're still enjoying?


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherry gives birth

Pain. Extreme pain.

Sherry couldn’t remember the last time she felt such a horrible physical pain. Her screams echoed in the room as the wives scurried around her. She was barely aware of what they were saying. She couldn’t even acknowledge the fact that Amber was dabbing her sweating brow with a cool towel. All she could do was scream, stirring the raw sensation in her throat considering how long it had been going on.

“Do something damn it! Do something right now!”

Negan’s commanding voice caused her to ignore the pain long enough to open her previously shut eyes to see their fearless leader looking concerned and angry at the foot of her bed, waving Lucille around.

“We’re doing our best,” Jessica snapped. “In case you don’t know, having a baby hurts like hell!”

Negan looked momentarily taken aback by her aggressiveness, but it was quickly washed away with, dare she believe, nervousness. Never did Sherry imagine she would see such a look on the bastard’s face. Such a thing seemed to encourage bravery among some of the women when it came to their husband. Still others were scared shitless, eyeing the bat as if afraid he’d suddenly smash one of their heads. 

But Sherry didn’t have long to process his behavior as another wave of pain struck her. She threw her head against the pillows crying out.

Negan flew into a string of curses and grabbed Dr. Carson’s collar.

“Sherry better not die goddamnit! Not her or the baby.”

She was barely aware of his shaky response. 

The room was starting to spin, as reality had in the past months. She couldn’t believe she was already here, at this moment, about to give birth. Some part of her had expected to die before now. Why hadn’t she died? Why hadn’t the baby died? Why hadn’t she pushed for its death? She could’ve avoided the pain and the coming motherhood. She could’ve been free of her new responsibility in order to continue tolerating her existence among the Saviors. 

“Sherry.”

Dr. Carson’s voice seemed to be coming to her from afar.

“Sherry…push…I need…you to…push.”

She blinked a few times and raised her eyes to see him in position below her. 

“It’s time to push,” he was saying.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” one of the women cried. She turned to see Amber twisting her hand in hers.

“Sherry,” she heard the bastard say in a soft voice.

She looked around and her eyes locked onto Negan’s. It was jarring to see him so concerned and it frightened her even more. At that moment she wasn’t sure what to feel; hatred for him for putting her through this pain, or fear that it was because of him that she would die in this way. She could also sense a side of herself that felt saddened at being parted from him, and it was a clear sign that she was losing her grip even more.

She hoped her eyes could speak for her because she didn’t have the strength to vocalize it, but if they couldn’t save her, she hoped Negan wouldn’t kill the baby. She’d have no love for it, she was sure, but it was still a baby; and maybe, just maybe, it would be the kind of thing to tone down the bastard’s brutal ways if he had to become a father full time. As much as she despised Negan, she felt almost compelled to apologize for putting such a burden on him.

“Push Sherry!”

She threw her head back and screamed.

“Sherry! Goddamn!” Negan cried.

“Push!”

Her body followed the command as she continued to cry out. She wasn’t sure how long it had been. She was aware of her body bringing forth the awful seed that had been inside her now fully developed.

“I’ve got the head,” Dr. Carson cried.

“Damn.”

“Negan get out of the way,” one of the wives ordered.

Sherry cried out again. Her mind was suddenly flooded with images of Dwight.

“I’m, sorry,” she whispered to him as tears ran down her cheeks.

There was a slight silence before a loud wail erupted. Sherry took a few deep breaths and raised her head. Her eyes locked onto the thing wiggling in the doctor’s arms and she felt confused. The doctor met her eyes, looking neither happy nor sad. Sherry found she felt the same way.

“It’s a boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll continue if interest is up :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the birth

Sherry thought there might be a burst of joy or tears at least, but that wasn’t the case. Instead there was an intense nervousness twisting at her heart. The doctor held up the baby a little higher and moved toward her, but she made no move to reach for it. All she could really do was stare.

“Goddamn, a boy! A boy. That’s my girl Sherry! Bring him over here doc.”

Dr. Carson threw her a look of pity before bringing the baby to the father. The wives stayed at bay, watching Negan as he carefully set his bat aside and took the baby in his arms, handling him like a precious treasure. 

“Sherry are you okay?”

Sherry couldn’t acknowledge anything properly as the room was fading. She felt a hand touch her brow. Everything was becoming blurry and her heart started to race. She turned her eyes to see Negan turning toward her, smiling. She'd seen him that happy many times before, but this was different.

“What do you think about Negan as a name?” he asked.

But the sight of the baby in his arms seemed to be the perfect image to end on as everything faded to black.

 

She woke much later with someone dabbing at her brow.

“Dwight?” she asked weakly. She hoped it was him, coming to greet her from a long nightmare.

“Do I look like goddamn Dwight?”

She opened her eyes and groaned at the sight of Negan sitting at the edge of her bed tending to her. There was an expression of mild anger on his face.

“I thought…I was dreaming,” she muttered as she pulled herself up to a better position against the pillows.

“And here I always thought you could only dream of me. Guess taking Lucille to Dwight’s head is the only way to get rid of those shitty nightmares.”

Panic gripped her, which only worsened her exhaustion.

“No please…you promised you…wouldn’t.” She had to take a moment to catch her breath and grip the bed. This was the last thing she needed to hear.

“Easy honey. You scared the shit out of me earlier,” he said softly. “Can’t get so worked up you pass out on me, or worse. You got a new job to worry about. Besides that, Dwight gave us the slip.”

“What? When?” She didn’t mean for her concern to show, but she just couldn’t help that right now.

Negan was observing her with very tight lips.

“I guess during all the excitement of our son coming into the world.”

The sound of the baby’s gurgles came to her ears then and distracted her from thoughts of Dwight. Negan stood and walked over to a chair where the baby was set up in a basket of blankets.

“I’m sending the boys out for baby supplies. Hell, maybe I’ll borrow some from Rick. He’s got a little one too. Maybe our future daughter-in-law.”

He laughed as he carried their son over to her. Again Sherry was given the option to reach for the child. She only hesitated briefly before accepting it into her arms. Once he quieted, she was able to see just what she had.

There was no denying the resemblance. It was subtle considering she always felt that all babies looked alike, however she had no trouble seeing that it had the bastard’s eyes and to a degree his nose. If there was anything of her’s in it, it was in the softness of his cheeks. Still, it was wishful thinking. The baby was what she imagined Negan might have looked like as a newborn, and such a thought saddened her; to know just how dominant Negan’s seed was. It made her feel that she had little if almost no connection to it at all. To a degree, it surprised her that she may have wanted some connection to it after being set on denying it for so long.

“Looks like you,” he said as he ran a hand over his head.

Sherry didn’t smile. She knew what he wanted her to say, so she said it despite how it churned her stomach.

“No. He looks like you,” she said flatly. Not once did she move her eyes off of the baby’s face, staring at him without understanding how to feel. She was barely aware of how carefully she held it. Then it wiggled and stretched out its arms as it yawned. 

It was the one thing that broke a small smile on her face.

“You know, you haven’t told me what you thought about Negan as a name.”

Sherry grabbed a little hand and watched his tiny finger curl around hers.

“I’ve always thought that was a shitty name,” she replied smartly.

Negan just smirked and started to chuckle, clearly believing she was being a smart ass with him as usual.

Sherry momentarily imagined the scene with Dwight there instead. She felt compelled to give him the same name, but she was present enough to understand that she couldn’t.

“Sebastian. I want to call him Sebastian.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian draws attention, naturally

Naturally little Negan, as the bastard liked to call him despite the fact Sherry had given him a name, was the center of interest. The Saviors did their part in celebrating with Negan, passing drinks around and basically having a late baby shower. Sherry had felt so vulnerable and uncomfortable, being forced to sit among them as they came by to view their creation. Sherry did her best to tune it all out as she concentrated on just holding the baby and making sure no one got so wild that they posed a threat to it.

Once again she was able to see that some of his followers did seem genuinely happy for him. But there were others that dropped the smiles and clearly expressed indifference to the whole matter. She could see such an expression on Arat who stood in the corner after a while, glaring at her and the child; it caused her to hold the baby even tighter to herself.

Some asked to hold it and she was always eager to deny them. But twice Negan noticed and granted permission for a Savior to swoop the baby up. Such moments, thankfully rare, left her feeling slight panic. Negan didn’t have any concern for its safety. Clearly he believed it was safe enough around his fellow men. Besides that he was far too busy laughing and boasting about their night of conception which did nothing for her spirits. When she couldn’t take it any longer, she claimed she was tired, and was allowed to leave with Negan as the escort. She was sure she was doing the Saviors a favor anyway, being as they weren’t exactly the type of people to take interest in such matters, unless forced.

The wives were a different story. 

Once Negan was away they immediately swarmed her with big, curious eyes. Sherry stood there holding it, feeling uncertain about all of it. 

“Oh my god.”

“Look at him.”

“Aww, he’s actually cute.”

“I can’t believe that’s Negan’s kid.”

“Holy shit, it looks like him.”

“God, I’m so sorry Sherry.”

“But he is cute.”

Sherry let the words wash over her, smiling at how animated and lively the new addition was making them as they’d never been that way before. One of the wives reached out and shook his tiny hand playfully. For the most part Sebastian eyed the women lazily as if unimpressed. Then he gave a little yawn and batted his arms around causing the women to break into smiles and a chorus of “awws”.

“Can I hold him?” Amber asked hopefully.

“Sure, just be careful,” she said as she carefully passed him over.

Amber smiled and fell easily into a nice rhythm of rocking him and cooing at him as she made her way to the sofa. 

“How are you holding up Sherry?” a woman named Rachel asked.

It was then that she realized she had been putting off the feelings of an exhausted body; exhausted from stress and constant fear.

“I’ve never done this before. I don’t…I don’t know how to be a mother.”

Rachel exchanged worrying looks with the others, giving Sherry the feeling they would’ve like to say she wouldn’t be alone in raising Sebastian. It wouldn’t be true however. Despite how interested Negan was in the baby, she didn’t believe he’d be a strong participant. For the most part he was still interested in celebrating.

"We're here for you Sherry," a woman called Julia announced.

"Yeah. Screw Negan, you got us," Rachel agreed.

Sherry felt something warm coating her heart and she gave them a sad little smile.

“Glad it was you…and not me.” She looked around to see Jessica looking quite disgusted. “If it were me, I would’ve killed it.”

Almost immediately, memories surfaced where she was hounding the doctor for the proper pills to take care of the matter. Considering it now, she was surprised to feel an uncomfortable twist in her gut.

“I tried to,” Sherry admitted quietly. “When I first found out. But, I didn’t have what I needed to do it.”

No one reprimanded her for her confession. They all understood without needing the explanation behind it. Sherry slowly sank onto a chair in thought, wondering how it would be if she’d been successful in aborting Sebastian.

Just then, sudden cries distracted her. She looked around and saw that it wasn’t coming from the baby.

“Amber? What’s wrong?”

Amber just shook her head as the tears rolled. Then with shaky hands she thrusted the baby back into Sherry’s arms. 

“What if it happens to me?” she cried. “What if, what if I have his baby too? I can’t…I can’t…”

As she fell to her knees the others encircled her, comforting her as best they could, leaving Sherry to watch from the side. The somber reality had sunk back in and in turn it left her feeling hollow as well.  
She looked down at Sebastian who was looking at her with his father’s eyes, and she wondered just how she felt about what she brought into the world.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherry has a big decision to make

Sherry still wondered if she would be able to handle a baby. It had been two weeks and she still hadn’t gotten used to having it suckle from her breasts. Though it didn’t bother her as much as when Negan just had to watch with a huge grin on his face.

“Pervert,” she called him, but he just shook his head.

“There’s nothing perverted about a father watching his kid eat. It’s all natural…like you.”

He chuckled and dropped his eyes, clearly taking in her mostly exposed chest. Sherry just rolled her eyes and did her best to ignore him. But when he wasn’t fawning over her breasts, there were moments he fawned over the kid.

Thrice she’d woken to the early cries of Sebastian and sighed in frustration with the new routine of getting up for him, only to find Negan already attempting to calm it. He’d rock it gently, whispered words she couldn’t hear, and used a bottle with her milk if he needed it. On such times she’d lay in bed, watching quietly in awe of the scene, as it was the only time he appeared to be a normal, caring human being, and not the lunatic psycho wielding a bat. Such a sight made her wonder how different it would be between them, if she’d met that version of the man before he changed into what he was now.

She hadn’t forgotten Dwight in that time. There were rare moments when he’d pop into her mind and she always willed herself not to think of him. Her life was with a man she didn’t love who told her almost every day now that he loved her. And of course she had a son now, whom she still wasn’t certain if she loved.

Then a time came when she had more time to consider her feelings for Sebastian, when Negan returned one day and informed them all that they were going to war. 

The thought scared her, but at the same time it gave her a glimmer of hope. Negan’s enslaved communities were apparently ready to end their suffering. The wives also expressed a mix of emotions when they discussed it. Naturally they expressed fear of what would happen to them, but at the same time they too expressed the hope that the Saviors would lose, and that Negan would die.

When they vocally expressed such a wish, she’d look down at Sebastian feeling teary-eyed. It was the father of her baby they were talking about, and they wanted him dead? But in all honesty she did too; or at least she was sure she did.

She cursed herself for not being sure; for being weak enough to feel some form of feeling for the bastard.

With the war on the rise, Negan had little time for her and his son, which suited her just fine. It gave her a better chance to think and breathe, and perhaps begin a connection with the baby since it wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

“How are you guys doing?” Dr. Carson asked when she took Sebastian in for his second check-up.

“Fine I guess,” she answered hollowly. “I’ve never done this before. And…I don’t…”

“I think you’re doing well enough. The baby’s still alive…so that’s a good sign.”

Sherry caught the bitterness in his tone.

“Maybe, if it doesn’t become him,” she muttered. 

Dr. Carson paused from checking the baby’s heartbeat.

“You know, as long as he’s with you, I think it still has a chance. But…if this still isn’t what you wanted, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I failed to, to stop the pregnancy. If he’s his father, I-”

“It’s not your fault,” she said quickly while resting a hand on his arm. “You tried to help me, so don’t blame yourself. I’m taking the responsibility for it.”

“Do you love him?”

Sherry was taken aback. Her heartbeat quickened and she was briefly speechless.

“Why would you…how could I love that bastard.”

“I’m talking about the baby.”

She dropped her eyes to the small wiggling form, heart swirling with all sorts of feelings. Then she ran a gentle hand over his head.

“I, I think I want to, but I’m scared. I’m scared of what that would mean.”

The doctor sighed then straightened up and looked her in the eyes.

“If you decide you love him, you have to take him and leave this place.” Sherry stared, not following so he continued. “If you stay, there’s no guarantee that he’ll survive this war.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherry considers the safety of the baby

Sherry held Sebastian close as she made her way through the trees, always keeping a sharp eye out for any dead or Savior. As she continued onward, putting as much distance between herself and the Sanctuary, her mind repeatedly informed her that what she was doing was stupid.

It was much too risky to leave such a place even if it had been hell. There she had food and a roof over her head, and most of all safety from the dead. It was all about survival now, and being among the Saviors, among Negan, helped her live for this long. But now that a war was on the horizon she decided it was time to take her chances. The doctor had made a good point, then again she had no proof that there would be any danger to everyone else once the Saviors began the fight. She had no idea how strong his enemies were. If they were weak, leaving was a waste as Negan would be able to stay on top by bringing them down. She would’ve still had the Sanctuary. However, if they were strong it was possible they’d not only bring down Negan, but his fortress as well. Such a scenario had images of gunfire going off within the walls, hitting innocent people and killing some of the other wives. Then there was the baby. Would they kill it upon finding out it was Negan’s?

She paused and looked into his sleeping face. Her heart twisted at the thought of him being in danger, yet she wasn’t fully sure if she loved him. Every time she looked at him, she saw Negan. While at the Sanctuary, it was easier to overlook it when the adult version of the bastard was stalking around her. Now that she was away it dawned on her that she would never fully escape Negan, unless she left the baby behind.

Still she held him close and traveled quickly.

Whenever the baby uttered a cry she’d freeze and hide as best she could. 

Whenever she found herself on the verge of dropping from exhaustion and stress, she forced herself to imagine Negan’s reaction at discovering she and his son were gone. Such an image encouraged her to quicken her pace to a run.

Eventually she came across the thing she was unconsciously searching for; the old home she had shared with Dwight. 

It wasn’t in the best of conditions, but that wasn’t what caused her to freeze and stare. It was the fear that Dwight might actually be inside.

She felt her heart thump painfully in her chest as she moved toward it. She found herself praying harder than she’d ever had in her life for him to be inside. Now an outcast she was free of her bastard husband. The war was coming and there was hope that he’d be too busy to find her, or better yet he’d wind up dead.

After cautiously peeking through the windows, she entered. Her heart sunk as the feeling of loneliness washed over her. 

Dwight was not here. The wives weren’t here. No one was here. 

She was alone, with a baby resembling the hell she had escaped from. 

She stood in the doorway and looked down at him again, desiring nothing more than to crumble to the floor, crying.

“We’re home,” she informed him, in a shaky voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Officially ending the story next chapter. I hope people enjoyed this.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Sherry survive?

At times she wondered how things were going at the Sanctuary. When she did, her first thought went to the wives. If the war had started, were they still alive? Where they staying someplace safe or had nothing changed for them? 

Sherry preferred to imagine them slipping away while Negan was too busy fighting, but she doubted it would be that easy now. She also imagined them cursing her for abandoning them. They wouldn’t call her a friend any longer. Then again, she had the baby, so there was a chance they might have understood. 

When her thoughts turned to Negan, her stomach twisted. 

Was he leading his men into battle? Was he winning, or losing?

Either way, there was an unpleasant twist in her heart. It worried her to think that she might actually care what happened to the bastard. She had no love for him, yet there had been times where she felt it was love even though it wasn’t. And now that she was away from him, it was confusing and almost hurtful, yet there was so much relief. She was sure it would be easier if Sebastian didn’t look so much like him.

The days fell into a steady routine. One that worried her since she was alone, trying to help a baby survive. She had to risk taking him with her when it came time to find food. After she put the baby to bed, a makeshift bundle of blankets, she’d settle down and cry.

Maybe it had all been a bad mistake, leaving the Sanctuary. Maybe the greater mistake was not doing enough to ensure the baby was never born.

But then she’d look down at the innocent little face and a hint of a smile would appear. Sometimes she questioned whether she really loved the child. There were moments when she thought too deeply about Negan as she watched him, and that made her hate. 

Sometimes she wished she couldn’t feel.

A few more days passed which only became harder. 

A lot of the dead had started to wonder into the area. There came a day when one nearly managed to snatch her arm and bite while another was waiting to devour the baby as soon as it was dropped. After that, she spent days locked indoors, convinced this was it. If they were going to die, it was better to starve to death than get eaten alive.

She sat on the floor with her knees drawn up, head pressed against them, listening as Sebastian cried. It didn’t matter now that it was loud enough to lure the dead. There didn’t seem to be a difference anymore. In her opinion she’d been living as the dead ever since she encountered Negan.

As her stomach growled, she found herself joining Sebastian in crying, and she couldn’t stop.

“I’m sorry baby,” she muttered between sobs. “I’m sorry.” Though she wasn’t exactly sure who she was apologizing to.

And suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

She ignored it the first time, believing she was imagining it. Then the knock sounded again. 

She raised her head and frowned. The knocking sounded for a third time. Slowly she got to her feet and walked into the front room. There was the concern that someone had come to kill and rob. There was a jolt of fear that it could be Negan. 

Quietly she lifted an eye to the peephole. 

It was like a kick in the stomach that knocked the breath right out of her, because on the other side of the door, was Dwight. 

Naturally she thought it was just a hallucination, brought on by lack of food. And feeling she had nothing to lose, she opened the door.

He stood there looking haggard and desperate, and she would’ve continued to believe she was looking at a fantasy had he not stared at her with sorrowful passion. It was a look she’d become quite familiar with during their time in that hellhole, and it informed her immediately that this was no hallucination or fantasy. He was real.

Sherry’s body reacted impulsively as she surged forward and embraced him. She had no words. All she could do was cry with relief and pain. Dwight didn’t try to stop her. He simply held her and allowed her to let it all out. It didn’t matter to either how they ended up in the current situation. What mattered was the reunion.

When Sherry was able to stop, she wiped her tears and asked.

“What are you…what are you doing here?”

He stared at her momentarily before answering.

“When I first left, I came here. I came back to our home, but without you it wasn’t. But I still stayed nearby just hoping I’d see you again.”

Sherry’s face broke into the first smile she’d had in a long time. But the moment was interrupted with the sound of Sebastian’s sudden cry. Dwight turned in the direction of the cries and his face darkened. 

“I decided to keep him,” she stated firmly, knowing what was going on in his mind.

Dwight gave her a look of disbelief but she shook her head.

“He’s not Negan. He won’t be. I’ll make sure of it. But if that’s not what you want, I’ll understand.”

He was silent as he looked back at her, then he moved in the direction of the baby. Sherry followed feeling anxious. 

He came to a stop at the foot of the bed and stared into the fold of blankets holding Negan’s spawn. Sherry could feel the pain rolling off of him in waves as he monitored the baby and the tears began again. She embraced him from behind and buried her face into his back.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

It wasn’t possible to have both. Negan had separated them, but his baby had forever torn them apart.

“He’ll never know,” Dwight muttered slowly.

“What?”

“He’ll never know who Negan is. He’ll just know us.”

Sherry looked up at him, stunned. Dwight took a finger and swiped away a tear, then he embraced her yet again. 

She shut her eyes and released a breath of relief, feeling free at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped those of you who read enjoyed. It's a shame Sherry's not really popular.   
> I did consider writing a scene where we see the two raising an older Sebastian, but perhaps I didn't feel motivated enough to do it. But at least we know Dwight will stay with Sherry to help.

**Author's Note:**

> I know the chapter's short. I considered making one long oneshot, but I like the idea of telling the story another way. If there's interest for more, I'll definitely continue.


End file.
